It’s not every day that Twitter is buzzing with news of a zombie attack. But it was yesterday!
The fuss followed the startling revelation that Leicester City Council has had to admit that it is woefully unprepared for an invasion of the living dead. This deeply concerning admission followed a worried citizen’s demand to know what plans were in place, under the Freedom of Information Act. Here’s the letter in full:
Dear Leicester City Council,
Can you please let us know what provisions you have in place in the event of a zombie invasion? Having watched several films it is clear that preparation for such an event is poor and one that councils throughout the kingdom must prepare for.
Please provide any information you may have.
Crazy? Well… I remember a couple of years ago (probably after watching ’28 Days Later’ or something) our family spent a surprising amount of time discussing what we’d do in the event of a zombie apocalypse. In fact, my husband even acquired a book on the subject! Of course, it was all just a bit of fun (although I do like to think we’re now a bit more prepared than most families!).
In case you’re worried about zombies, here are the key steps to keeping safe:
- Stay informed – a battery-powered radio will keep you up to date with the spread of the undead
- Get out of town – but don’t go for isolation. You don’t want to tackle a horde of zombies on your own
- Seek military assistance – but always ask for identification. You need to make sure the soldiers aren’t zombified
- Learn to defend yourself – and remember to aim for the head
- Beware of fellow survivors – keep your supplies secret. If someone’s acting suspiciously, leave immediately
- Stay prepared – you don’t want to be fighting zombies in your pyjamas. Most of the time, death by the living dead is the result of carelessness on your part.
Thank goodness we don’t live in Leicester. Let’s just hope the councils in Newark and Grantham are better prepared – I think we should be told!