Thanks to Jedi Jim, unstoppable Helen’s Team Venture were the ‘Special Stars’ in last night’s episode of The Apprentice, as the two teams had to pitch their biscuit products to three leading supermarkets. Venture’s winning biscuit – a highly calorific, chocolate-covered creation aimed at kids – looked decidedly dodgy from a health perspective! But ‘Jedi Jim’ Eastwood clinched a whopping 800,000 unit deal with Asda to win the day. How? Okay, he did promise a massive £20 million advertising campaign to support the launch. Above the line, below the line, through the line, over the top, TV, movie tie-ins – the only thing he didn’t suggest was social media! (Surely a must for the target audience?) But his legendary persuasive powers got the Asda buyers nodding.
Despite being branded BBIW (the ‘biggest bullshitter in the world’ – trending on Twitter) by his lordship, Jim’s colossal deal meant that losing team leader Zoe (Princess Leia on The Apprentice – You’re Fired) had to choose two of her teammates to come back into the boardroom. She saved Susie and chose inventor Tom and Melody. She blamed Tom for the product and Melody for… well, being Melody, really.
Earlier, Tom had come up with the genius idea of emergency biscuits. The kind of biscuits you eat in a crisis. Because, after all, isn’t that what we all crave in times of extreme emotional stress, panic and trauma – a biscuit? Crackers!
Tom looked like a mad Willy Wonka as he mixed the ingredients for his ‘snap & share’ Bix Mix biscuits. Actually, I thought they were a pretty good idea, although I obviously didn’t have to eat one (or share one).
In the end, it was Zoe that Lord Sugar pointed at, for not overseeing production of the biscuits. Melody strode past sacked Zoe, ignoring her gracelessly, after their boardroom bust-up. Nice.
Just six candidates left. Jim? Helen? Who do you think will win?